I was lucky enough this past week to have an amazing conversation with a fellow flirt from NiteFlirt! My friend, Sara (popularly known as SweetlySensual_Sara on NF), is the gorgeous, sensual voice behind the podcast, “Must Love Fetish.” Yours truly was her special guest this week! Sara interviewed me, and we had a very insightful and thought provoking conversation regarding the virtual girlfriend experience.
In an effort to expand upon a very fascinating chat between Sara and I, I’m dedicating this post to the elaboration of some of the interesting topics related to being a virtual girlfriend. My suggestion is to first listen to my guest appearance on “Must Love Fetish” if you haven’t done so already! If you decide to read this first, be sure to accompany it with the podcast as a follow up (you can listen for free on iTunes), so you can hear Sara and I speaking about the complexities, intricacies, and addiction that is the virtual girlfriend experience.
As a consumer in adult services, you’ve likely seen the term “girlfriend experience” or “GFE” advertised all over NiteFlirt and other adult forums. Perhaps you’ve been one of the lucky men to partake in a mutually beneficial girlfriend experience? Maybe you’ve been curious but reluctant to seek out a GFE service, not knowing what your expectations might be? Or, perhaps you have no fucking clue what having a virtual girlfriend would even mean? Well, here is your guide to all things “Virtual Girlfriend Experience.”
What is the Virtual Girlfriend Experience?
Very much like the name indicates, having a virtual girlfriend brings all the benefits of a real relationship: conversation, companionship, intimacy, sexual pleasure, and emotional support to name a few. Yet, ideally, having a virtual girlfriend leaves behind the many stresses that tend to arise with a “real life” girlfriend or wife: arguing, jealousy, nagging, control, demands, predictability and monotony.
The concept of the “Girlfriend Experience” arises from the world of escorting;however, a virtual girlfriend provides, essentially, the same experience but without the actual physical contact with that of sleeping with an escort. Yes, it’s still considered a transaction or exchange of goods – the reality is that when we work in the adult business that is at the core of all of our phone sex relationships. There is the provider and there is the client; however, the virtual girlfriend experience truly delivers so much more than an exchange of sexual pleasure for money. Dedicating your hard earned money and time to a virtual girlfriend pays off far more than it costs. If you find the right girl, the benefits are endless, and you will have earned not only a confidant but a true friend who is always in your corner. Your girlfriend experience will include having a woman who is always available to cheer you on during your achievements and successes and who is going to be there for you during obstacles and hardships.
Is the Virtual Girlfriend Experience for You?
A majority of my “virtual boyfriends” are men who are at a point in their lives where they might feel like they are no longer the priority in their real life partner’s world or have found that they are missing out on the most necessary intimate aspects of a relationship. If in your life you often feel lonely, ignored, under appreciated, unimportant, insecure, and in need of someone to talk to, then you are already a great candidate for finding a virtual girlfriend.
GFE isn’t just for the aforementioned men; perhaps you travel a lot or are often too preoccupied with work and friends to give what is necessary to an every day relationship. Maybe you find that you are often selfish in relationships and it’s just sometimes too much trouble to cater to the schedule, wishes, and expectations of women who just don’t understand what it is you need out of a girlfriend. It’s even possible that you’re perfectly happy in your current marriage or relationship, yet need a little spice on the side.
There’s no shame in wanting action and excitement so you can explore your sexuality. There’s also no shame in wanting to, as you continue to grow as a person, meet new people and have new experiences outside of your every day world of family and friends and work and mundane duties. All humans crave both emotional connection and sexual gratification; therefore, the virtual girlfriend experience is a no-strings-attached way to fulfill those desires without actually stepping out on your significant other or compromising your own needs.
How to Find the Perfect Virtual Girlfriend
On the “Must Love Fetish” virtual girlfriend experience episode, I spoke about how I never set out to offer a girlfriend experience to callers. Becoming a professional “girlfriend” of sorts just happened naturally, because I grew to have genuine care for my callers and made real connections to men who kept wanting to come back for more. Over time, these phone relationships have grown into true connections, real attraction, and a mutually beneficial arrangement.
As a provider of phone sex, I most certainly know that every single man who dials my number is not going to be my “ideal” man. Sometimes the reality is that a phone sex call just doesn’t deliver the chemistry or connection or gratification that someone is looking for. Personalities might conflict, fetishes might work in opposition of what I, as a provider, am willing to offer, and any other number of scenarios might occur that make a caller and a phone sex girl NOT be a perfect match for each other. For instance, just like when going on a real date, sometimes you just don’t “click.” In regular phone sex and fantasy role play calls, these issues aren’t usually much of an issue at all. In fact, a caller might not ever even have the indication that our personalities aren’t jiving, because the purpose isn’t to get to know one another, the purpose is to get off. It’s my job to please YOU, the caller. If you’re paying for me to humiliate you because of your small penis or if you’re wanting me to “wallet rape” you or role play as your cum hungry wife, I can do all of these things whether it turns me on or not. You pay for our services; us girls deliver.
The virtual girlfriend experience though, is vastly different. There needs to be a real connection and mutual respect for one another on multiple levels. As much as I am here to cater to you and your needs, you also provide me with a gratifying sexual, emotional, and intimate experience. Being a phone whore can be faked; being a virtual girlfriend takes authenticity, truth, understanding, and most of all RESPECT. For men browsing sexy listing after sexy listing of women offering a virtual girlfriend experience, it might be hard to determine who the right girl for you is. I’ve found that most of my virtual boyfriends didn’t start off wanting or seeking out a GFE; what happened was that they called me for a more traditional phone sex experience, but we hit it off.
Over time, we both wanted to know more about each other’s personalities and lives. We would discuss everything from our sexual desires to our ideal dates to what our favorite movies and books are or just sharing a funny story about something that happened to us that day.We began to have longer conversations that focus on real life opinions, observations, and experiences rather than just going through the motions of a sexual experience and hanging up the phone. This doesn’t mean, however, that many men don’t set out to find a virtual girlfriend rather than just a smoking hot phone fuck. It just takes a little bit more work on your behalf to find a woman who is going to be genuine with you rather than someone who is just going to play along as though it’s a fantasy. Again, let me be clear – “playing” at being your girlfriend is well within the realm of phone sex services; but, if you truly want to feel a true connection, it means you’ve got to engage in repeated calls and the entire conversation shouldn’t be completely one-sided. Sure, you’re paying for your calls, but as mentioned earlier, for real feelings to develop, you must do your part in sustaining the relationship and staying in the forefront of a woman’s mind.
If you’re testing the waters with finding a virtual girlfriend experience, you should be looking for a woman on the other end of the phone who is giving you her undivided attention. She should, over the course of a few phone calls, be able to remember details you’ve told her in the past without it feeling forced or faked. Your virtual girlfriend should follow up on things you’ve talked about in the past, such as travel plans or important events you may have mentioned in a past call. She should ask questions about your life, while also sharing experiences of her own. Your new virtual girlfriend should be able to laugh with you, talk with you about your interests (though she doesn’t need to be an expert in them), and know when it’s time to turn up the heat. When you’ve found a woman you look forward to talking to, someone you think about throughout the day and want to share thoughts, feelings, and just something that made you think of her with, then you’re making that transition from role playing to a developing a connection to a virtual girlfriend.
All of this sounds like a real relationship, right? So, what’s the benefit of having a virtual girlfriend rather than going out and finding a “real life” girlfriend to deliver these essential benefits or fill a void in your life? Well, the obvious is that on the phone you are less vulnerable because there is a level of distance that doesn’t call for traditional expectations like monogamy. You don’t need to rely on your physical appearance being what leads a woman to be interested; it’s your intelligence, personality, and who you are at your core that your virtual girlfriend will become attracted to.
A virtual girlfriend isn’t bringing you baggage or demanding expectations beyond what you choose to give her. The stress of a real relationship doesn’t and shouldn’t seep into your virtual world of happiness, companionship, and intimacy. A virtual girlfriend won’t make unreasonable demands for your time, she won’t stop you from hanging out with your friends, she won’t get jealous because you talked to some other woman, and she won’t make you feel stupid, insecure, or not good enough. You can get all those things from a real life girlfriend or wife, and your virtual girlfriend knows this!
Sex with a connection and deep intimacy is fucking incredible and above and beyond what any traditional phone sex call can provide. Getting off is great, obviously, but getting off with someone with whom you’ve built and established a mutually caring and genuine admiration and connection with can surpass some of the real life sex you’ve ever had. This isn’t to say, however, that journeying into the world of virtual relationships doesn’t allow room for real life situations to occur. It just means that for many men out there, finding a virtual girlfriend experience can fill any emptiness you’ve found to exist in your life. Us flirts are here to save you from a boring, predictable, lonely, and love-less life. Finding the right virtual girlfriend for you can make all the difference in your happiness.
The Complexities of Providing the Virtual Girlfriend Experience
As the girl offering a girlfriend experience, the experience itself can be complex and emotional. When we’re providing phone sex, us flirts are well aware that the goal is to get you off. We know that once you cum, the call usually ends, and if we’re lucky enough to make it to your “favorites” we’ll hear from you again in a few days or weeks and have a hot phone fuck session all over again. However, when offering girlfriend experience, we open up to our callers (or “virtual boyfriends” as I like to say) on a much deeper level. These men see us as more than just a sultry and sweet voice with a dirty vocabulary on the other end of the line. You will see us as the real people we are. Us GFE flirts share true and meaningful experiences with you, and show ourselves to you on an intimate level that very few of our callers are lucky enough to ever see. It can be difficult for both parties to establish and maintain boundaries when this level of intimacy is involved.
During the “Must Love Fetish” podcast, Sara asks me if I’ve ever fallen in love with a caller. She also shares her own personal story of falling for a previous client of hers. Our conversation is authentic and demonstrates some of the insecurities and painful choices that might arise as a phone sex provider who has found herself with feelings for a man who in any other world is just a distant stranger on the other end of the line.
Us virtual girlfriends are not immune to truly falling for you. It’d be very difficult to speak to someone on the phone for hours at a time, sometimes several days a week and keep up a facade regarding who we are and how we feel. We are capable of falling in love with you, capable of having our hearts broken by you, and capable of insecurities that people tend to experience in real life relationships. As a result, we might build walls and create boundaries that, to you – the man paying for our services in the virtual girlfriend experience – don’t fully understand. We have reasons for not giving you our real phone numbers or meeting up for coffee or a fun weekend away, despite how much we want to go. We might hesitate in telling you we love you back after you’ve professed your feelings; not because we don’t feel it, but because of our own lack of “control” over the situation. Romantic feelings are a fragile thing and us girls would often prefer not to break down the virtual wall; this is often out of the need to protect ourselves, as well as you, from the pitfalls that can doom real relationships.
Need to Know More About Virtual Relationships?
To learn more about how I answer that “love” question and many more questions posed by Sara during our conversation, you’ll have to listen to the podcast in its entirety. I’d love to know my readers’ and callers’ opinions on the virtual girlfriend experience. Please leave a comment with your personal GFE history, curiosities, questions, and thoughts!
Finally, if you’re in search of something that feels like it’s been missing from your life that traditional phone sex calls haven’t been able to provide, next time you call your favorite flirt maybe frame your call differently; get to know her on a deeper level; ask questions or share stories and observations like you would on a real life date. Then, see if the two of you hit it off… you just might be lucky enough to be one of the men who find a truly one of a kind relationship with that flirt. This connection can bring your sex life to new levels of excitement. Thoughts of your times spent with your virtual girlfriend will make you wake up every single day feeling more alive, knowing that there is a woman out there who unconditionally has your back and your best interest in mind. For us flirts who offer a virtual girlfriend experience, we’ll be by the phone hoping that when the phone rings it’s you – the favorite caller, the man who gets us off every single time, the virtual boyfriend who is also giving us what we are missing in our own lives.
This is an incredibly well-written blog post, Ryder. Wow! So informative and honest. Your authenticity blows me away and I have so much respect for you. I cannot thank you enough for being on my show. It was truly such a pleasure!
Thank you so much, Sara! I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to be on the podcast to talk about GFE! It was so much fun. We must do it again!!! (I’m brainstorming podcast concepts lately, too! haha).
I agree! Let me know what you come up with. I’ll definitely tune in and would totally guest for you xo